|Statistics show that the number one reason for divorce is usually money. It is hard to find financial harmony you both can live with. If there was no such thing as money, many may consider theirs would be the "perfect marriage". If you and your spouse are not on the same page, it won't be long until money squabbles become part of your natural routine. Prevention is the key to success.
Here are five ways to help prevent money from ruining your relationship:
1. Always remember what attracted you to one another and why you wed. Your relationship is about much more than money. Although it's bound to happen, you simply need to know how to deal with it. First and foremost, remove such thoughts as, "we are just a bad match" out of your head. Once you do that, it will be easier to discuss this issue.
2. Understand history. The perception you have on finances and how you deal with them usually stems back to your parents and what you were taught by them. Share this with each other. It will give you a much better understanding of where your partner is coming from and the reason for their money habits. You still may not agree, but it will make you less angry allowing you to be more considerate to one another.
3. Defuse a fight and give a little credit. The worst time to have the "money talk" is when you are angry. Take a moment to cool down and then, using a friendly tone, express your feeling and concerns. Begin with a positive. You could say, "I admire the way you can make such a purchase without overanalyzing it." Thus, leaving your spouse open to respond with something like, "Your attention and diligence in managing our bank accounts is what makes you a wonderful partner." Stay on the topic at hand and be empathetic. Feeling understood makes it much easier to fabricate a solution.
4. Spending plan vs. budget. To many, the word "budget" carries a harsh meaning. It may leave you with strict rules and be hard to stick by. Try replacing it with a "spending plan". By having a good plan in place keeps you more on track. You both will have the understanding of your income and your expenses, reminding you that you are partners working toward the same goals that you previously set together.
5. Divide up your cash by giving each other an allowance. Use your joint account where you each contribute an equal percentage of their paycheck to pay all the bills. Use separate accounts for your weekly allowances. This money is for you each to choose how and where to spend it. It will allow you assure the bills are being paid and at the same time, not having to be accountable to each other for every dollar you spend.
Chances are good that there is at least something for each of you to admire about the other's spending and money habits. Find out what it is, compliment it and create a good financial balance between you. Ultimately it will result in fewer money arguments, a more successful relationship, and better financial practices within your relationship.